i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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