And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
