i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
