so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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