I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
