Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
