she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
