tonight lets celebrate not being married
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
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