i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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