Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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