Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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