OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
