She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Randomize
