the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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