I think I just saw someone hide a body.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
