i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i came on her dog
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
