the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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