I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
