conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
My cat gives me a boner
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize