I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
