Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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