Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
