I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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