Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
