If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You made out with two different species that night
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
