Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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