she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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