Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
