so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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