I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Thank you for not boning my boss.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
