who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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