i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
