No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
