I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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