THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
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my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
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I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize