so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
