Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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