when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
kristin has been a bad kristin
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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