After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
last night I used snow as a chaser
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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