Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We are all done wearing pants today