yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
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He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
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Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.