oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?