went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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