I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
