Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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