My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
