On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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