sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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