East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
