Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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