he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
