Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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