kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
