Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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