Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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