Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
