Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
