I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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