in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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