If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
