went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
