I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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