dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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