lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
