What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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