She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
