If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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