Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
