i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
